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I am 42 and my girlfriend is 42. She says I am being mistrustful, controlling, and possessive when I say it is wrong for her to go out drinking and having dinner with other male friends. She will not compromise with me on this. Is it wrong of me to tell her that it is wrong of her to go out on her own, drinking, dinner, etc with these male friends of hers? She even says she has about 3 of them and they are her age. She is even willing to give up on us as a couple to have her way.

What should I do? Thanks for your time.


Yes - you are being mistrustful, controlling and possessive! How DARE you expect her to actually treat you and your relationship with respect and dignity! The nerve!

She says there are “about 3 of them”??? That means that there’s at least twice that many and maybe many more!

I suggest that you kick this bitch to the curb, post haste. There's a reason why she wants what she wants - she's actively dating! Some relationship!

Consider this (which you probably already know): why would some guy(s) want to take her out for dinner, drinks, dancing - and a bunch of other "d" words - only to spend their money and time on a "buddy"? You and I know exactly why they do this - they want to get into her pants. It's really that simple.

Worse yet, your girlfriend knows exactly why they're doing this too! She's playing all of you and one of you is going to win - and it's not going to be you! After all, she already has you, and doesn't seem to care.

That's no "relationship" in my opinion. It's a chance for her to go out and look for someone new while she can still claim that she has a "boyfriend". The fact is, women never want to be seen unattached. It's something like the idea that you never want to eat in an empty restaurant.

I strongly urge you to get back into your own hunting game and go find someone that is respectful of you and your relationship with her. This woman is NOT. If you need some help getting things going, check out "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II".


Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: Check out the discussion group at:

Copyright (c) 2004, Dr. Dennis W. Neder All rights reserved.

posted on Sunday, May 30, 2004 6:51 PM

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