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After a bad relationship experience, many singles take a much needed relationship break to regroup and recover. Some singles get stuck in this break, and stay single for years at a time or permanently. Even though these singles don't enjoy the loneliness, they do appreciate the lack of hurt and drama in the absence of a relationship. Many justify continuing to stay single by saying they are not yet ready for a relationship.

This brings up the question of how a single person may effectively get ready for a relationship.

When people say they are not ready for a relationship, what they really mean is that they are not ready to go through the drama and/or trauma of their last few relationships again. Many people don't realize this is what they mean. Most people subconsciously base their decisions about love on past relationships, and not on the ideal future relationship they are hoping for. Who would want to dive right into the drama and heartache of a good relationship gone wrong? Who could ever get ready for pain? Almost no one.

Many singles reach a stage when they take a look at a lifetime of good relationships gone bad, realizing they are the only common denominator. At this point many singles decide in the back of their minds they are simply incapable or — worse yet — undeserving of having a good relationship. Then they put themselves on indefinite hold. They may say they are not yet ready, but underneath it all they may never again allow love in order to avoid the hurt that follows.

Although for many people this decision process happens in mid-life, for some it can happen as early as their twenties, or even as a teenager.

After a person puts him or herself on a relationship hold, there is almost no way back to love. This is especially true those people on hold think the way back to love will simply come with time. Time will not get you ready for another relationship. A lifetime of being single may pass and you will still not be ready for another relationship. Work, coupled with the determination to have a loving relationship, is needed.

Getting ready for a relationship can take a relatively short amount of time, as long as the time is spent doing the real work of getting ready. Some of the steps involved in getting ready to love again include:

  • Figuring out your relationship pattern and what exactly went wrong in your past relationships
  • Learning about what you need in a relationship and learning to pick a partner who can satisfy those needs
  • Learning healthier relationship behaviors, like how to pick better partners and how to successfully start and build a relationship
  • Getting out there and meeting new people, with an emphasis on meeting new types of people who you have not met before
  • Learning how to avoiding common dating and relationship pitfalls

If this is your intent, do you want detailed information on how to accomplish the above steps? Do you want to get ready for a truly satisfying and wonderful relationship? Do you want to get ready for love that continues to feel good instead of going bad?

You may want to enroll in the following two online classes I have designed to help you get the love you want and truly deserve.

The first class is called "How to Stop Being Single." This class will take you through the steps necessary to go from no relationship or a bad one to attracting a partner for a healthy, positive, satisfying relationship. For more information and to register for this class, go to

The second class is called "Worst dating Mistakes and How to Avoid Them." In this class you will learn how NOT to make the most common relationship-devastating mistakes. After taking this class, you will be able to make better decisions about how to start a brand new relationship so that it has a chance of
blossoming into long-term love. This class is still in the works and should be available early next week. Watch for a midweek announcement of this class in your email box.

If you are single or know someone who is and hear, "I am not ready for a relationship," remind yourself or him/her that without the right actions and strong intent, the readiness itself may never come.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

"(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

posted on Tuesday, June 15, 2004 11:36 PM
  • # All about Personal Ads and Not blowing Relationships
    Dating Tips and Articles from MatchCity
    Posted @ 6/15/2004 11:53 PM
  • # All about Personal Ads and Not blowing Relationships
    Dating Tips and Articles from MatchCity
    Posted @ 6/17/2004 8:00 AM
  • # re: Are You Ready for a Relationship?
    Posted @ 1/13/2005 1:36 AM
    Thanks a lot for the article.My girlfriend of 2months keeps saying this and recently just coz I wanted sex she started saying that I am just like all other guys and that she thought I was perfect.Tried telling her that no one ever is but she just wont get it.I want this to work.Please send her this article for me. is her address.
    Emmanuel who needs your Help with Prisci.
  • # Breaking patterns « Feast To Famine
    Posted @ 3/4/2011 11:52 PM
    Breaking patterns « Feast To Famine

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