After a bad relationship experience, many singles take a
much needed relationship break to regroup and recover. Some singles get
stuck in this break, and stay single for years at a time or permanently.
Even though these singles don't enjoy the loneliness, they do appreciate
the lack of hurt and drama in the absence of a relationship. Many justify
continuing to stay single by saying they are not yet ready for a relationship.
This brings up the question of how a single person may effectively
get ready for a relationship.
When people say they are not ready for a relationship, what
they really mean is that they are not ready to go through the drama and/or
trauma of their last few relationships again. Many people don't realize
this is what they mean. Most people subconsciously base their decisions
about love on past relationships, and not on the ideal future relationship
they are hoping for. Who would want to dive right into the drama and heartache
of a good relationship gone wrong? Who could ever get ready for pain?
Almost no one.
Many singles reach a stage when they take a look at a lifetime
of good relationships gone bad, realizing they are the only common denominator.
At this point many singles decide in the back of their minds they are
simply incapable or worse yet undeserving of having a good
relationship. Then they put themselves on indefinite hold. They may say
they are not yet ready, but underneath it all they may never again allow
love in order to avoid the hurt that follows.
Although for many people this decision process happens in
mid-life, for some it can happen as early as their twenties, or even as
After a person puts him or herself on a relationship hold,
there is almost no way back to love. This is especially true those people
on hold think the way back to love will simply come with time. Time will
not get you ready for another relationship. A lifetime of being single
may pass and you will still not be ready for another relationship. Work,
coupled with the determination to have a loving relationship, is needed.
Getting ready for a relationship can take a relatively short
amount of time, as long as the time is spent doing the real work of getting
ready. Some of the steps involved in getting ready to love again include:
- Figuring out your relationship pattern and what exactly went wrong
in your past relationships
- Learning about what you need in a relationship and learning to pick
a partner who can satisfy those needs
- Learning healthier relationship behaviors, like how to pick better
partners and how to successfully start and build a relationship
- Getting out there and meeting new people, with an emphasis on meeting
new types of people who you have not met before
- Learning how to avoiding common dating and relationship pitfalls
If this is your intent, do you want detailed information
on how to accomplish the above steps? Do you want to get ready for a truly
satisfying and wonderful relationship? Do you want to get ready for love
that continues to feel good instead of going bad?
You may want to enroll in the following two online classes
I have designed to help you get the love you want and truly deserve.
The first class is called "How to Stop Being Single."
This class will take you through the steps necessary to go from no relationship
or a bad one to attracting a partner for a healthy, positive, satisfying
relationship. For more information and to register for this class, go
The second class is called "Worst dating Mistakes and
How to Avoid Them." In this class you will learn how NOT to make
the most common relationship-devastating mistakes. After taking this class,
you will be able to make better decisions about how to start a brand new
relationship so that it has a chance of
blossoming into long-term love. This class is still in the works and should
be available early next week. Watch for a midweek announcement of this
class in your email box.
If you are single or know someone who is and hear, "I
am not ready for a relationship," remind yourself or him/her that
without the right actions and strong intent, the readiness itself may
Your Relationship Coach,
"(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"
posted on Tuesday, June 15, 2004 11:36 PM